Delving Deep into the Soul at Goddess Circle

Have you ever attended one single event that was simply transformational? Have you ever spent an evening connecting with yourself, reflecting and growing, all at once? Mind you, what I'm speaking about occurs alongside nearly 30 women who are strangers, but simultaneously feel like your sisters.  I wasn't sure that something like this existed or that this was possible... until I lived it!

This is Goddess Group. Call it whatever you want, Goddess Group, Goddess Circle, Goddess Gathering (and I'll probably use these three terms interchangeably). The commonality is simply that we are all Goddesses that deserve to showcase our femininity, our light and our vulnerabilities. I've heard of a few Goddess Groups that take place in Toronto and this is just my experience with one of them. However, I didn't have to shop around to know that this group was the right fit for me.
I must highlight, that this is in no way sponsored content. All of these words come straight from my heart. I want to share my experience, so that if others are contemplating deep self-reflection and/or are looking for a way to connect to themselves, they realize that there are outlets to do this. 

The Goddess Circle I attended last Wednesday, was hosted by none other than self-proclaimed love warrior, soul/meditation coach and lawyer, Catie Fenn. Known for being unapologetically herself and vulnerable on The Bachelor Canada, Catie was a breath of fresh air on national television, and even more-so in real life! This was my first attendance at Catie's Goddess Circle (they've been going on all year - minus her stint on the Bach!). I am certain that I will continue to grow and transform, if I continue to attend these gatherings; I intend to do just that!

My first experience with a Goddess Gathering, was through my friend, Melissa (who is a wellness coach at Sharp Fitness - so check her out). Melissa invited me and our friend Sarah over to join a couple other ladies for an informal gathering this fall where we pulled Angel Oracle Cards (i.e. Doreen Virtue) and conversed about our life journeys. As AMAZING as this experience was, I could tell that I was holding back due to some type of irrelevant fear. Although perhaps it sounds counterintuitive, I felt that I wasn't able to authentically communicate freely because I was sharing the space with my friends. I was really proud of myself for attending Catie's group solo because I actually get really shy in group settings. I stepped outside of my comfort zone (being surrounded with people I know at most/all times) and bought a ticket. Although I have a few friends that would have joined me, I knew that this was something I had to do alone.

We began the evening with group introductions, followed by energy work through meditation and gentle movement. I have been working on my self-discipline skills as of late, which includes carving out dedicated time for meditation AND silence daily (I'm working on it, okay?). I responded very well to the meditation (Catie is a great facilitator) despite laying on the hard studio floor (due to my spinal cord injury)! Harnessing energy through movement is one of my favourite ways to do so.

The focus of the evening led us self-reflection through journaling and to a small sharing circle afterward. In our journals, we were instructed to write about the following: our highs AND lows of 2017, in addition to the well as the curveballs AKA the challenges that were ultimately the great teachers of our year. I had an unbelievably difficult time thinking of 5 high points of the year. 2017 has provided me with access to a smorgasbord of emotions, but my happiness was rarely born out of pure joy. In simpler terms, I felt that I had many great examples of "curveballs" to talk about -- where light & positivity was developed by working through immense challenges. I sat staring at my blank page for longer than anyone else in that room (I now recognize this without judgment). Without a doubt, the largest curveball AKA learning lesson was having emergency spine surgery in March. This surgery created a domino effect in all aspects of my life. With great conviction, I can say that I am a changed person for the better since my back surgery (I am especially grateful and positive).

As mentioned, self-discipline is a major goal to achieve in the near future. Additionally, I am focusing a lot of energy toward healing (both physical & emotional) this winter. There is much that needs to be done and said before this healing can occur. It will be a process, but I am ready to take this challenge on and heal my heart of the resentment I have been holding for years. Thankfully, I still have a bit of time to craft specific goals for the near future and will have the opportunity to set some intentions soon enough!

Catie is a big fan of Brene Brown, as am I (fun fact: Brene and I are both trained Social Workers) and seemingly, Brene's teachings can be found subtly weaved into the foundation of the group. One of my favourite affirmations (ever) is something that I learned from Brene. We are all worthy of love and belonging. Brene Brown has delivered my favourite Ted Talk of all time: The Power of Vulnerability, which is where this affirmation was presented. 

There remains to be a stigma surrounding vulnerability and yet there is an innate need for humans to feel and express emotions. I am thrilled to have found a place free of this stigma. Throughout my entire life (and yes, still to this day), I have never believed that I was worthy. Worthy of anything, really. Love, kindness, generosity, abundance, assistance -- you name it. Essentially, anything you might classify as "good", felt so out of reach that I'd just accepted defeat. I had painted a mental picture of my life and happiness just wasn't included. Through this transformational experience, I uncovered much about myself and my deepest insecurities. I intend on taking this information and using it to redefine my narrative and "paint" the picture of the life that I know I deserve and desire. 

Some people may view Goddess Circle as being "too out there" or even compare it with "witchcraft" (I was disappointed when someone I'm close with literally said this to me last week). However, (sorry not sorry), I'm not here for them! I'm at this place due to the experiences I have had, which have changed me and shaped me into the woman I am today. I felt unbelievably transformed at this Goddess Circle and will definitely be attending next month (January 10th).

I wish you all the best on your spiritual and personal journeys. I encourage you to be your authentic selves and to look within, in order to understand what it is your heart's desire. If you are looking for any guidance with this, feel free to email me (ericaexposed@gmail.com) or DM me on Insta (@ericaexposi). Love & light to all! xoxo

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